Reflections

Today I find myself in a ‘reflective’ mood (no, I didn’t say REFLECTING, although my ‘sparkling personality’ might count for something . . . hehehe). Having read two friends blog entries today (Mary & Diane), I find myself thinking of my life right now and all that’s ‘flowing over me’, so to speak. I’m in a sort of ‘different’ place than I was a year ago – (1) I’m a year older (big deal) (2) I’m the mother of a going-on 17 yr old, going-on Senior in high schooler (3) wife of a now-retired husband (4) approaching, in August, 35 years of marriage – yay! (5) and the mother of two other sons, one 22 yr. old and one 28 yr old who’s also a great father of our 5 yr old grandson (6) I’m a grandmother.  This coming school year will be, I’m anticipating, a virtual whirlwind of activities, both for our son and for us. He has decided he wants to enter the Army the minute he graduates and is, currently, working his way to that end. He also wants to continue in Color Guard and starting in August, will be going through 2 weeks of pre-camp training before the actual Band Camp the last week in August. The first week in September will start school again, so you can see the beginnings of ‘lots of activity’, both for him and for us, as he isn’t driving yet. (Ah, Driver’s Ed – ANOTHER ‘in the future’ thing to look forward to – sigh).

My husband and I are slowly settling into a routine, now that he’s home all the time. We’re re-learning how to interact with each other so that both of us are semi-content and yet remain that ‘united force’ which not only parents but buffers  our kids against the trials and troubles the world throws at us. And, believe me – the WORLD is out there in full force!  I’m also a Grandmother and learning my role there, as well. I love seeing the world of innocence through my grandson’s eyes – for example: the other night at dinner we got into a discussion about where food comes from. He was totally amazed that hamburger comes from cows, pork comes from pigs, corn/apples/strawberries/potatoes, etc. come from trees/bushes/the ground.  Being his father is a chef, he’s well versed in foods (pork, veal, beef) but I guess the subject of just ‘where’ the actual thing you’re eating comes from, just never came up.  Yesterday found us picking almost 3 cups of wild blackberries together in my back yard. (They grow wild – tons of vines). He’s learning to only pick the shiny, black ones and did a great job until I reminded him that he could actually pop some in his mouth while he’s picking – that ended the berries-going-in-the-bowl thing, but that’s OK, too! I let him experience them warm from the sun, then we brought the rest inside, washed them and mixed some with Cool Whip – he was totally smitten! (actually ate 2 small bowls and wanted more, but Grandma told him that too many would produce problems later, so he took some home in a baggie, instead, to give to his Dad).

I just spoke to my brother on the phone, who called to wish me a belated birthday (6/18) after I had left a belated birthday message on his answering machine yesterday (his b/day was 7/12). That brings up another ‘who am I’ now, moment. I’m also sister to a person I only became aware of about 6 years ago – that’s another ‘mind-boggling’ thought. Jim is actually my full-blood brother who was adopted out at birth by my parents, because, at the time, they were not married. We’re talking 1944 – and in that time period, being an unwed mother was definitely not acceptable. My parents later married, I was born, and life went on, until Jim’s adopted mother died and he chose to search out his birth family and found me. I still find it amazing, when hearing his voice on the phone, that he sounds exactly like my (our, actually) first cousin, Doug, who is like a brother to me. I grew up constantly being compared to Doug (they live in Iowa) – every year a Christmas card and photo would arrive at our house: “Here’s Dougie and his new puppy!” or “Here’s Dougie making a snowman in our front yard!” – all the kitsch of the 1950’s era, in full bloom arriving at our house in the  mailbox! (Did I feel jealous? You bet! It always seemed, to me, that “DOUGIE” was having a much better/more fun life than me – who knows? It’s funny, now when Doug and I compare notes on our growing up – HE felt the same way when they’d get a card & photo of “Here’s Penny singing Christmas carols” (and note: included was a photo from the local newspaper of said event! – I guess parents in those days always had to ‘one up’ each other, eh?) Funny, the memories!

Well, Mother/Sister/Wife/Grandmother and other titles are all, in some way, connected to the person I am right now. Can or would I change them? Probably not, because somewhere along the way, they’ve molded and shaped me into who I am. My goal is living up to what the Lord would have me be/say/do for the rest of my time here. Friends, we’re ALL a ‘work in progress’ – try to be content with who you are and your situation right now. It will probably change, in time. It’s best to be content – AND it helps digestion, too! (sorry, just couldn’t pass up a chance to throw in a joke, ya know!)

Hope you have a WONDERFUL day/afternoon/evening -wherever you are!

Hugs;

Pammie

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. And who ever you are! Great post, stirs a lot of thoughts about how we change, the people we become, and how to cope with this. You done well my friend but to me you will always be “Pamela Jane” and I love it!!!!


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