With Heavy Heart

The past few days have been sad and painful; Saturday I attended a Memorial Service for a friend who had been active in another special needs group; she had been paralyzed for most of her adult life but didn’t let that stop her. She & her husband were very active in various churches with children – great couple. She recently got cancer and was slowly growing weaker over the past few months. She will be greatly missed; there were over 80 people (by my estimation) at the service.

Last night I got a message that a very close friend’s husband was dying; he’d been ill for years – diabetes and then kidney failure/dialysis. He went, last Tuesday, to kidney dialysis and she was called to take him to the hospital, his dialysis port was clogged. They did the surgery to clear it; then back to dialysis. Port clogged again – back to hospital where they kept him. A third clot developed which broke into smaller pieces, some of those went to his lung. I received word today that he passed away at 2:20 a.m. I have known his wife for 45 years; I remember going through her first husband’s cancer and eventual death, with her. I also remember the almost giddy excitement when she told me she was going on a DATE with her (soon to be) second husband. Yesterday was their 40th wedding anniversary – rejoicing in their time together, saying goodbye to him after 40 years – how sad. I was in their wedding – photo below (I’m on the end/left in the big pink picture hat (bride’s choice – she also made the dresses!)

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She’s a strong woman and has gone through a lot over the years, from raising her children alone (until meeting second husband) to caring for his health (and hers). She lives in a geodesic dome (looks like an upside down bowl) about 1 1/2 hours from me; I remember them planning on building a dome, then found the one they live in while out on a drive. She mentioned to me last night that she will be counting heavily on her (adult) children to help her get the house in order, to sell it; she will probably be moving back near me, perhaps living with her daughter. So much to do – so heavy a load to bear; yes, she’s been through it all before, but then we were all much younger. I love her dearly – we’ve been close for so long (I went on ‘all nights’ at the phone company simply because I loved her sense of humor and strength and wanted to get to know her better – here it is 45+ years later – amazing).

Cherish the people around you that you love – LET THEM KNOW you love them. Be the friend they need when they need to talk, dump, cry, or just spend time with. Whether a long time, or short – we need to CARE and LOVE those in our lives who mean so much to us.

Life is short – make every minute count. When it’s your time to go let others say of you: “They really CARED and I/we knew it.” When last I spoke to my friend last night, she handed the phone to another friend and I could hear her say: “She’s crying” – I didn’t want her to know that (and thought I disguised it well – guess not). I grieve for her husband, but more I grieve for my friend who has a long, difficult road to pass through. Better to let them know you love them than wish, later, you had.

Pammie

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Published in: on July 21, 2014 at 9:35 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Thank you for the comforting message. Yes we do live little different lives but that didn’t matter about our love and caring

    • I LOVE you, my DEAR friend. Been praying for you: for strength and health to go through the days ahead. Yes, we live different lives, but our friendship has held all these years (and many more to come, I hope.)


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